How do you know when you are healed? What exactly is the meaning of “healing?”

A cut heals into a scar. We say the cut is “healed,” but the reminder is there in the form of a scar. Is a scar a form of healing?  Physical scars are usually a tear in the skin – whether a big tear or as a knife wound, or a small tear – a prick of the finger with a pin.

Our bodies have an amazing capacity to rejuvenate and grow. Growth is one of the requirements of a living organism. Growth and reproduction.

Green you grow – ripe you rot.
(Old Chinese Proverb)

A scar is a cicatrix – connective tissue that results from oxidation in the healing process. The air causes bacteria which causes scarring.

What then causes emotional scars? How does a body heal emotionally? Do we possess the same healing capacity in our minds as we have in our bodies?

The action “to be healed,” is purely personal – you decide when you are healthy – but there are some things that facilitate healing that is common in all healing properties.

1. Do not pick your scab.
2. The pus of the infection must be released.
3. Do not reinjure the wound.
4. Use measures to prevent future injury.

This is common sense when treating a physical injury. “If it hurts, don’t do it.” Not too much thought is required. If we use common sense to heal and prevent further physical injury, why then do we not do the same with our emotional damage?


1. Do not pick at the scab. Ruminating, staying stuck on a scene from the past, worrying about the future. These are all scab pickers.

2. The pus of the infection must be released. Whether with antibiotics or lancing, the infection must be released and allowed to run its course. But until the foreign body that is causing the infection is removed, the injury will continue to be inflamed and sore. We usually cover up our emotional injury, though. “I’m fine.” “Sorry to bother you. “Lost control for a minute.” We never let the pus out. Determined to be staunch and stoic, we learn to tamp down our feelings and let them fester, until over time, the pus does erupt, but not in a pretty fashion. Anger, arguing, blaming. Releases for the resentments (the pus) that stagnate in our bodies and minds. Why do they build up? Because we leave these negative emotions unattended. We refuse to recognize what they are and why they are there, and the “pus” of these toxic emotions keep building and building until there is no room for them to go but out our mouth. Torrential words.

3. Do not reinjure the wound. In order to heal, the trauma or trigger must be removed. This is not easy. Since trauma deals with relationships, more than likely there are people in your life causing your upset.

4. Use measures to prevent future injury. Most of the time, accidents can be prevented. What do we do to protect our emotional side from being damaged? Healing can only completely occur when the antagonist is removed. Whether a small, annoying sliver, or an abusive boss or mate, the “cause” of the “infection” must be eliminated.

Only then are you on your way. As life will have it, there are many obstacles to steer you from your course. Ups and downs – that’s life!

When you can weather the downs, then you will know you are healing. No one takes a measure, there is no test that says you are healed, but inside you will know. The change is so gradual you do not notice it. Like any good habit, a new routine takes time. One day you will know.

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